I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel.

Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor.

Hey bloggie, this few days have been feeling down and sad. I dont know what is going on anymore. Tell me, what is going on? I seem to be alone all the time. In this past few days, I have been thinking alot which actually make alot of sense. Questions like, is what a friend says always true? And I guess, its not? Hmm, I dont know. Why not you tell me? I'm feeling so isolated, maybe I am. I shall stop hiding from the truth and accept the fact.

Even though I'm sad and all, but at least I realized which are friends that are true and which are not. I've differentiate all of them and I realized. I've realized that friends that you know longest doesnt mean they'll be a true friend of yours. I believe things come and go. But sometimes I just wish they wouldnt. Honestly, I dont even see what's the point of me complaining over here right now because who would actually care?

Sighs, life has been real fucked up. Everything seem to be fading away. Everything seem to get worse to worst as days pass. Everyday I am not willing to wake up because it feels like it is just going to be another fucked up day. It feels like another useless day thinking about how am I suppose to get over it. Sometimes people said I'm an outgoing girl, but sadly, I dont see that in my at all. I dont know what made them think I am at all.

Sometimes people say things that sounds easy but deep down, its harder than you think. You know which are the two big problems to me right now? It is friendship and relationship. The reason I said friendship is because I dont know which are friends that are true and not. And the reason I said relationship is because I dont know which are the guys that truly loves me and which are the guys that are just using me for advantage.

This few nights, I have been crying myself to sleep. I dont know what is going on anymore. Sometimes I just wish my life have ended. I just dont want to wake up in the next morning anymore because it feels like there's no point. I dont even know what I want anymore right now. Maybe I just want someone to care about me? To love me for who I am? Forget it, like I've said, there's no point saying all this at all. I've lost things in life which I cant get back.

Before I end, I think this part of the lyrics from Torn by Natalie Imbruglia is what I've been feeling this few days. And it goes ;

I thought I saw a man brought to life

He was warm, he came around like he was dignified

He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldnt be that man I adored

You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for

But I don't know him anymore

There's nothing where he used to lie

My conversation has run dry

That's what's going on, nothings fine Im torn

Its funny right? Feeling all so down, lost and stupid? Gawsh, I miss so many types of feeling right now. I miss the feeling of being pampared. I miss the feeling of being loved and care about. I miss every single feeling that makes me happy. But sadly, I dont even think I'll get this feeling anymore. I'm going hide till the day when everything changed for me. I'm just going to wait for the day when everything is alright.

I'll wait till the day when everything goes right. But when would it be? Would it be today? Would it be tomorrow? Would it be a few years later? Or maybe never? I'm still gonna wait even if it is going to be till the day I die. I want to be cared, missed and loved and I'm sure that's what everyone wants to be felt like. Trust me when I say behind every smile , there are sorrows and behind every laughters , there are tears.

END OF POST.

Ps, I love you.