This love is taking all of my energy.

And I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy.

Hey bloggie, this is going to be a very sad post. I really wish I could runaway from all this tears and sorrow. Well, Yes, this is not gonna be good for the entire family from my mother's side. Its about my grandfather. Yes, I blogged about him during the Chinese New Year. Well, now, he seem to be getting worst day by day. So yesterday, my aunt went to the god and asked about my grandfather, well, this depends on you believe or not. But to me, it is so real that have even made me scared. Well, he said my grandfather will not be able to stay till this thursday or friday.

Thursday is already tomorrow and friday means the day after tomorrow. No one can ever feel how i feel, well maybe there is, the ones who have been through this before. Well, I really love my grandfather, even though we wasnt that close, but his small little lame jokes do cheered us up. I never have hated him or anything because he never naggs and always kept quite eventhough he knows something is wrong. Well right now, he's been feeling scared because of all the things that have been happening to him this days. And we in the family felt useless.

Why? Its because we cannot do anything but to see him suffer. And for my grandmother, i'm sure it is going to be very hard for her. She havent been eating or sleeping at all. This is really hurting everyone's heart. Well right now, we still do put on a smile on our faces when we meet our friends but deep in the heart, we're all crying out loud hoping this would never had happened. So yeah. I dont know what to say or who to tell but to my blog. This is the only way i could express my true feelings. I feel so empty and sad for him...

We do know that loosing someone in relationship hurts, but loosing someone close to you in life, hurts more than any words could describe. Really, it does. Even now, my grandfather still jokes around which hurt us even more even though it is funny. He seem to want us happy and not caring about his sickness. But it didnt help much but hurting us more. Well, i'm here, I wish him well, and even if anything happens, I hope he knows that he have everyone in the family for him. And for my grandmother, I hope she would be fine even though I know it is going to be hard...

And for my boyfriend, I wish we could stop arguing. Please! I really cannot take it. I cant concentrate when I'm studying or even having my exams. Yes, I'm currently having exams now untill next tuesday. And yeah, just baby, stop and understand my feelings now. I begg you. Please, I cant take it anymore. I'm hurting enough, stop hurting me. Life has been getting worst, really. It sucks like hell. and yeah, for math exam today, principal came and told me I got a very good results for it. Yes, I was happy, not untill now when all this feelings come back.

Maybe you readers dont know what i'm talking or thinking i'm crapping, but right now, I have no one to talk to or even no one to complain about even though I have a boyfriend. Sorry, I dont mean to complain about you, but its true, you dont know how i feel right now and you just cant stop scolding me or even tolerate for me. I just hope my grandfather would stay well and be healthy just like before.

END OF POST

This feeling is indescribable.